According to my husband, this is the most depressing time of the year.
The days immediately following Christmas. The Christmas lights just taunt us to be productive and remind us that everything that says “Joy” or has a festive red and green color combo needs to be put away.
It’s like 425 daily reminders to clean your house.
Which is why I’ve escaped and gone shopping with some Christmas moo-lah two days in a row.
(I should add that we did both clean out our closets, the hall closet, and some shelves in the living room last night).
(I even found some wedding pictures frames (not the ones you gave us, I promise!) and PUT PICTURES IN THEM(!))
(Tonight I turned on the dishwasher. So clearly, our productivity has the ornaments cowering in fear).
While it can be a rather sad time (not for this teacher though… still on break… hey-o!), it’s also time to reflect.
And make goals.
And think of ten things that you hope stay in 2012:
Ladies, repeat after me: Leggings are not pants. Once more, with feeling: Leggings are not pants. I’m all for leggings with a dress or skirt. But if I have to question if you are wearing any material at all with your trendy t-shirt, then Houston (really, Nashville… trust me), we have a problem.
2. Superhero Movies
Much to my husband’s grief, I am not a fan of going to the movie theater. I can’t stand the thought of spending almost $40 (by the time we split a popcorn and a Coke) to sit in an uncomfortable seat compared to my couch, the inability to hit “Pause” if Mother Nature calls, and the threat of some stranger sitting uncomfortably close to me.
However, I will go every now and then, but not to another superhero movie anytime soon. Really, Hollywood? That’s all you got? (I know, I know… I could see Les Mis, but I don’t think I can take three hours of singing set forever ago,
with a story that is totally pointless to my life). See, aren’t I a theater joy?
Of course, I know this won’t actually go away, but if politicians can talk and argue for hours on end with zero results, then so can I.
4. The NBA
The lockout however-many-months-ago lasted forever too short. I just can’t stand it. All other sports- football, baseball, hockey, even golf- I can listen to commentary or a game for a few minutes without going bizerk. But I cahhhnn’t with the NBA. It is just awful.
5. People Advertising a Product Ad Nauseum
I am walking on shaky territory with this, so hear me out. I am all for my friends asking me to purchase something they are selling. Who knows, I may be selling Mary Kay one day (ok, Mary Kay is very unlikely, but perhaps Organic Ranch or something). And Lord knows I sold many-a-coupon-book back in the day. It’s a free country and we could all use the extra money, so by all means.
Here’s where I go a liiiiiiiiiitttle crazy. WHEN IT’S ALL YOU EVER TALK (or post) ABOUT. It’s brought up in every conversation, in every note, etc. You can not have a conversation with a person without the sales pitch or the revolutionary testimony of the company/product. I love ya, but I will most likely buy from a friend who is genuinely interested in my life (and I, theirs) before telling me why I need to attend a party.There. I said it. Now, who wants to buy a hand-crafted necklace from me?
6. No Child Left Behind Papers
I wrote three papers/assignments on “this important piece of education legislation” (I think I used that line in each paper) this past year. I can’t even keep up with the amount from undergrad.
The act was passed in 2001. Almost 12 years ago.
In that time, Tennessee is one of the states that has received a waiver from NCLB. So graduate professors, please start updating your assignments. It would be like telling my second graders to write a report on President George H. W. Bush. Perspective.
7. Winters with Rain
I’m dreaming of a white Winter, just like the one in 2010…
8. Facebook Essays to Significant Others
I write little notes or post a video or two to Brett every now and then just to brighten his day. However, when it’s more than a sentence, it gets written in card or a piece of paper. Because he lives with me. I see him, live and in person, every single day. Or, when you want to get more high tech, I can text him, email him, or (get this) tell him.
So the love letters to significant others on social media confuses me. A blog is one thing, since it’s made for ramblings such as this. However, when you are professing your undying love, list 32 reasons why he/she is the one, and basically restate your vows, it’s a little much. This is why single people are annoyed by married couples… and I can’t blame them.
9. Honey Boo Boo (not the child, the show)
This is why other countries are annoyed by the United States… and I can’t say I blame them.
This will be on every one of these kinds of lists for the rest of my life. They may be one of the symbols of America, but they are nast-ay. I haven’t eaten one since I knew that the definition of what’s inside of them is “pig parts.” Call me a yuppie girl all you want.
What would you keep in the past? Of course, this is all light-hearted. There are much more serious things. Another blog, another day,
Have a happy 2013! And ladies, remember, wear pants.