I mean, Happy Thursday!
Just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?
I trust you all had a very merry Christmas. Actually, I know you did, as I read all about them on Facebook (raising my hand with you, as my husband rolls his eyes). Speaking of that feller, we Kept It Simple, Stupid.
(KISS for short).
(Please don’t be offended. It’s an expression my dear ole Daddy taught me to refer to one’s self).
(Feel free to use. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, Clark).
We got each other a few gifts, but nothing too extravagant because you know, SAME BANK ACCOUNT and all. Plus, we felt convicted to remember it’s all about Jesus and not worrying if he’s even going to like that brand new sports car I for sure would’ve gotten him. C’est la vie, dear.
So now that we’ve all fa la la’d ourselves into a sugar coma, it’s time to think about 2014. Resolutions, goals, dreams, etc. Really deep, inspirational thoughts and intentions.
Except for this blog. No, it’s time for my annual (technically true, this is the second year in a row!) list of things I would forbid if I beat Hilary in 2016.
10 Things that Should Stay in 2013:
1. Leggings as Pants (Again)
You know what’s been especially funny this past year? The amount of ladies who have come up to me, while wearing leggings under dresses, and pleading with me, “These are ok, right? I HAVE A DRESS ON!” Yes, ladies, I am not anti-leggings. I’m anti-leggings-as-pants. Big difference. Sadly, I hoped this trend would die in 2013, but it is alive and well. Ladies, darlings, LOOK IN THE MIRROR and ask yourself some honest questions. If your answer is, “Well, you can’t REALLY see my behind. I mean, NOT FROM THIS ANGLE,” then it may be time to re-evaluate, my friend.
2. “Bro” Country (What is Bro Country? The more you know).
Alright, I have to own up to something here. I still cannot resist Luke Bryan’s “(Country Girl) Shake it For Me.” That song is pure guilty pleasure, and for a long while last year, I loved me some “Baby you a song…” from Florida/Georgia Line. But j’nough! Those type of songs, well, a little goes a long way. What happened to the country songs that MEANT SOMETHING? We all like some that are just fun to sing along and mean nothing (raising hand), but the radio plays the same ole truck-driving, beer-drinking, girl-swingin’ song. Need proof?
Don’t get me wrong, there are some good songs out there that I love (thank goodness for Miranda Lambert, Keith Urban, ZBB, etc). I’m definitely not one who dislikes mainstream music. Let’s just make 2014 with a little bit more substance and less sittin’ on the tailgate while looking at the moon on the riverbank.
3. Mullet Dresses
Nothing like browsing the racks of Ross’ and TJMaxx (no shame in my game), finding a dress with a cute top, and pulling it out to see that it’s missing the rest of it. But only on the front. Or it has just extra fabric hanging in the back. It’s all very confusing. Please, 2014. No more mullet dresses.
4. Phil Robertson as the Savior
I’m walking on some thin ice here, so hear me out. I totally understand why people were up in arms about Phil Robertson being suspended from A&E. I agree with his overall thoughts, although I
not sure definitely don’t think they were said in the most tactful or loving way. Let’s not get it twisted though. He didn’t not have freedom of speech. He is not in prison, he was not executed, and he is not being hunted by the government. He expressed his thoughts that didn’t agree with his employer. However, the amount of people who have several times posted about Phil has left me a little speechless… until now. Keep hearing me out. I understood it the first day or so, but still? I love Phil Robertson, I love Duck Dynasty, but y’all, there are Christian missionaries all around the world who ARE imprisoned, murdered, and hunted down for just saying the name of Jesus. I don’t #StandwithPhil. I #StandwithJesus. Honestly, I think that would make ole Phil more happy, happy, happy if this was trending instead.
5. Facebook Hashtags
I just used a hashtag on my blog, and I’m about to hope that hashtags stop in 2014. The irony is not lost on me. I have no real reason for this, other than hashtags on Facebook just seem awkward. Twitter is where the hashtags belong, in 140 characters or less. I believe this also goes under “RIDICULOUSLY LAME First World Problems.”
6. The Current Education Mindset
I could write a novel on this subject, but I better keep it short and sweet. (Steps on a soapbox). This country, and specifically this state, will lose the best, most hard-working, student-focused teachers they have if they don’t get their act together and realize that teaching isn’t about a number. It’s not about a score. It’s not about a ranking. Data is good and definitely useful, but like in all things, in moderation. The way state leaders are making it the end-all, be-all measure of a teacher and student’s success is inappropriate, in this teacher’s eyes. It’s about the impact a teacher has on the student (and vice versa). It’s about learning not only academics, but life lessons, specifically qualities like integrity, creativity, and compassion. Those things can’t be measured by another test, but try to be successful in life without them. (Steps off of soapbox).
7. Elf on the Shelf
I thought the Elf on the Shelf was cute at first. “Look, it just hangs on the shelf! Or the stairway! Sweet.” But no. Pinterest (it can be used for good, but in this case… evil) has turned it into a competition. “Let’s hang twine across the room, as the Elf on the Shelf swings through lifesavers into a pile of powdered doughnuts!” No. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I’m really hoping this fad has faded by the time my future child is old enough. ‘Cause I just may be “that Mom” who says NO, I REPORT TO SANTA AND THAT’S ALL YOU NEED.
8. Credit Card Pitches EVERYWHERE
Let me be clear, I am not mad at those poor customer service associates. I’ve been there. They are being told they are required to pitch the store credit card, and then if/when the customer says no, they must tell of another benefit of the card, until they’re told no again. And this is coming from someone who, while I worked in retail, was usually #1 for successfully having people apply for the card (what can I say, the curls are the charm). My advice? Just tell the customer service guy/gal that you appreciate it. They know you don’t, but they’re just glad you’re not cutting them off mid-sentence while talking on your cell phone.
Selfies need to be outlawed. As a former selfie girl, I now cringe when I think of them. So awkward. The only exception is if you’re with someone in your selfie (as long as you don’t take 224 of them and post them all) or if you have a new haircut/something snazzy that you want to show off, but otherwise can’t. If in doubt, just send me a permission slip, and I’ll sign off on it. Maybe.
10. The Civil Wars Break-Up
Y’all. I was kinda into The Civil Wars last year (2012), but we bought their self-titled album this year because FANTASTIC. Would love to see them live, but the only problem is they broke up after finishing the record. What a buzzkill. C’mon, work it out, and show Jason Aldean what good music is (Yep, I went there).
I think this concludes my rants and vents. I feel lighter, even after eating all that Christmas food! All of this is in good fun, so please don’t be offended if you like one of these things. I like the majority from time-to-time, and I’m sure lots of you are over the HOUNDSTOOTH EVERYTHING that I love, for example. In that case, we’re not friends anymore.
I’m totally kidding.
But if I catch you taking a selfie, while wearing leggings-as-pants, then I’m totally not kidding.
Happy 2014, everyone!